Bajrang Dal… We double dare ya…!!!

Now that you’ve clicked on this title, I’ll presume that you are amongst the minority who’ve managed to catch a love partner and are lucky enough to enter the ‘week of love’ with s/he being by your side.

But no, when in India, having a heart-mate is just half job done. When it comes to celebrating and showing your love for them, it becomes a totally different ballgame, a matter of concern. If your parents weren’t already uncomfortable with you being committed in a relationship before marriage, these self-proclaimed moral policing ‘Dals’ have added to the headache of the innocent lovebirds.
So yes, it only makes sense for you to find out the ways you can cheat them on their face. To your rescue, we’ve got some Valentine’s Week tricks in a Bollywood style to guide you through the week without getting caught, neither by your family nor by…

Bajrang Dal heroics!

Bajrang Dal heroics
Bajrang Dal heroics

Yeah, man… I know the picture above is getting on your nerve, and you wish to catch each of them someday and ask them to keep their brain in some science lab for an experiment. But calm down your head and enter the week with these Valentine’s Week hacks in your kitty…

Feb 7: Rose Day (Does a flower pot qualify?)

Rose Day
Rose Day

Damn! If you’re out in the open carrying a red rose, you’re surely getting judged. So wait, fret not, just replace that 50/- rose (that are actually for 10/- on regular days) with a flower pot and bang…you’re suddenly a nature lover.

Gift them with a beautiful flower pot and they’ll take its care just like a baby, throughout the lifetime. This solves both the purposes, doesn’t it?
And yes, I just photoshopped the scene from I Hate Luv Storys to make you better understand.

Feb 8: Propose Day (Take her out…)

Propose Day
Propose Day

No! Do not make the mistake of taking her out to a deserted place to prove your macho-man image or get lucky. The idea can prove dangerous for people who judge every couple in this particular week and this can get you in trouble (just the probability is higher).
Instead, take them to a place where you know a few people (this scene from Masaan is one good example) or where you already know that no one has a problem seeing a wandering couple.

And for God’s sake, do not choose a park/garden/zoo, coz ewww!

Feb 9: Chocolate Day (Can chocolate in other forms do?)

Chocolate Day
Chocolate Day

I mean chocolate today is a part of every other thing, right? We have Chocolate Chaai, Chocolate Pizza, Chocolate Dosa, Chocolate sandwich, you name it.
So, just to be sure enough of nobody (not even your friends) catching you celebrating the day, why not take her out on a Chocolate Menu treat, rather than giving a large Cadbury Temptation bar?!
Note: I bet the end of this story would definitely serve your temptation

Feb 10: Teddy Day (Ummm…would Bunny do?)

Teddy Day
Teddy Day

For a change, instead of gifting them a stuffed toy that they must already be having in abundance, why not become one of them?
Just as was the case in the movie Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani, be a funny-bunny and entertain the hell out of your partner to make the day memorable.

Feb 11: Promise Day (Do not post it on your social media)

Promise Day
Promise Day

Dude, you don’t have to make it all public. Refrain from using Hashtag Promise Day on your Insta handle and get real by either texting them or greeting them with the promise in person. You see, one can easily sneak a minute of lone time to say one line of promise.
Simple! Wait, don’t be the Bittoo from Band Baaja Baaraat and run away, stay until you find out what to do on 14th Feb, Valentine’s Day.

Feb 12: Hug Day (Hugging trick #21)

Hug Day
Hug Day

Yep, Naina is to your rescue here. Just wear some stupid sticky glue in your hands and even if you’re in a group, ask your mate to pull out that cell-phone from your pocket/whatever.
This would definitely require her/him to get super close to you and hence to gift you with a sense of having hugged them.
Don’t agree? Head to YouTube, watch this scene and nod your head with a smile later.

Feb 13: Kiss Day (No… no CPR trick!)

Kiss Day
Kiss Day

Remember the hilarious scene from the movie Cocktail where Saif fakes a CPR on Deepika when his mother catches him kissing the bikini-clad Deeps?
No, you don’t have to do that. You must instead go old-school on this day and either go for a flying kiss or get them a beautiful note written over a piece of tissue paper to make ’em feel good.
And if you’re a guy, who knows if you might get lucky with her lipstick mark on that tissue later.

Feb 14: CHEAT DAY (Just as the fitness freaks do)


Now, let’s get practical and discuss logic. If the whole goddamn world is so obsessed with connecting 14th Feb to a particular day, can we not get a bit sensible and celebrate Valentine’s Eve a day later?
I don’t think it is too much to ask for, given the benefits of it in return. Choose 14th to hang out with your buddies and let yourself free from the guilt of having not celebrated it the traditional way. After all, it’s just a day’s wait…

Feb 15: The New Valentine’s Day!

The New Valentine's Day
The New Valentine’s Day

I mean why not? Although, I personally would be sitting somewhere reading a novel on that day, but you don’t have to pass it the dull way.
Go out with your better half (I hope they’re) and make them feel special. All this, with no eyes ogling at you in suspicion. Isn’t that just great?

Feb 16: In case you’re still not satisfied…

hour-long lip-locking French kiss
hour-long lip-locking French kiss

Take a flight to Paris, and no one would stop you even if you make an hour-long lip-locking French kiss and walk the streets of Paris hugging, kissing, and showering love on one another.
Liked the article? Found it unique, fresh and original in every sense? Don’t stop yourself from sharing it with your partner, your friends who have a partner, or with anyone you feel it’ll do justice to.
Remember, no ‘Dal’ would catch you here 😉

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